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Eisele Cunningham

Monday Mornings

Lost You Any Way (Desperation)

I said, “Yes!” to many things.

I encouraged a challenge–

In the beginning.

I said things like:

“That’s hilarious!”

Although, in the moment I didn’t quite understand it.

Without protest, my taking the backseat

Meant keeping you around

For more than the possibility of physical intimacy.

I thought to myself,

“Things would never be going this well had I not decided to be more like someone else.

More relaxed.

More accepting.

More… take your mind out of it— keep saying, yes, to anything.

No matter how debilitating.

Because otherwise you’d never love me.”

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Having A Child

I’d hate to overwhelm someone with my insecurities.

Forgoing Forever

Cynical of me to think

Bonds are made to be broken

Things that were right side up eventually get turned upside down

Jaded phrases but nothing in nature has turned me around

And at this point in my life

Through all my struggle and all my strife

I don’t mind

The sun comes up

And it will go down

I know understand hearts will inevitably break

I’m tried of carrying the weight of forever

I want to live in the moment just enjoy our time

I don’t want to loss my focus each time a promise is broken

I can’t bare to cry my heart out again pushing for things to be right as rain

I’m tired of waiting on forever

Just strike your match and throw it at me

I’m a stream of gasoline

Hasn’t Anyone Learned Their Lesson…

I…

Cliche.

No body has ever…

Cliche,

Cliche.

And you promised me…

Cliche,

Cliche,

Cliche.

Why did I ever— believe…

Cliche,

Cliche,

Cliche,

Cliches.

Forgetting < Forgiveness

Without any absence of a gesture

I can safely reimagine feeling comfortable with you

In your arms

Underneath the pressure of your lips

Your hands having free reign to travel wherever on my body they did

Of course time had me realize you never held me

Kissed me

Touched me

If ever we were in front of someone else

And I didn’t want to know why

I was so afraid that even behind closed windows and locked doors you’d stop loving me

I almost forgot

That was the kind of love I began accepting

Sanity

Promised I’d do a little better the older I get

I needed to for my sanity

Used to be sensitive about your choosing to be with someone better

But you’re still watching me

Probably talking about me

While I’ve moved on for the better

And you’re feeling stuck with whoever

Angry, Tired, More About Love

I realize that I’m angry about love

Tired on living in the fantasy I was in

I’ve had enough of long-term depression over short-term petty unkept promises

I’m tried of crying over spilled milk

When I could just clean it up

I realized I’m just over love

The unrealistic caught by the eye and the missed-conceptions

I am at a juncture in life where I need more than you saying you love me especially when you never show me

Getting Over Things

Yes, I belong to nobody.

Why does that bother you?

Please, feel free to go on and mind your own business.

Ripe

You had unsteady eyes…

Always looking for something that you’d never find.

He looked over, underneath, to either side and even right through me—

(Scoff)

As if my fruit wasn’t fit for making pie.

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