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Eisele Cunningham

Monday Mornings

A Perfect First Love

Every letter that you wrote–

I’ve cut up.

But, I put the peices back together so they would say what I want.

And every fond memory I have of us…

I made them up.

I’ve repressed deleterious emotions for the sake of my mind and to others:

It was best to lie.

Because:

I thought I deserved to have a perfect first love.

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Unhinged

Everyone walks like you

I hear your voice everywhere

I sense your vibrations all around me

I see your reflection in everything

It’s been a year

One assumes time enough to heal

But it’s only been one year

And it’s so unbefitting of me to become unhinged because of these things

Marriage

Me and you

We’re different

We don’t always see eye-to-eye

You go left,

I go right

And we may even fight

But, that doesn’t mean that I don’t need a friend…

You and me…

We’re meant to be in this until the end, no?

In a Perfect World

I’ll be the beacon that guides you to the castle,

As you travel cross the stormiest sea.

A castle,

We’ll call our home,

Were you’ll come sleep beside me…

Might You Believe Me?

You have called me jaded

Cynical

And Blasphemous

A true incarnation of a bitter

Broken mess

If it be true that it seems this way

Then blame my pass and some present patterns

I’ve acknowledged

I am dealing with

Face-to-face

Been swept beneath many rugs

Or before a simple throwing out

Each partner has kept his or her own favorite little pieces of me

I am uninterested in new

Because nothing truly is

Same old walls

Coated over with different paint still laced with lead

And everything looks pale as far as I can see

Though it is not where I feel I’ll end

Still my intentions remain

This wasn’t a place not even for a second I wanted to be

Love,

I am not sad…

Just empty.

Might you believe me?

Getting Even

You may take this as my being immature

But I’m not one who’ll choose sad over angry

Or a loss over winning

I was first here

And you owe me things

Respect

A little Decency

Money

Time and tears too

And until I get something back

I’ll be there

Clenching your coat tails

Stepping on the heels of each of your feet

I’ll infect the creases of your everything

So much so

Every time you make love to her

You’ll both think of how you fucked me

I’m Ready (Velvet Sky)

In the earliest hours of morning

The sun has hardly graced my sky

It’s cold outside

But my sheets are warm

With your body lying peacefully beside mine

I’m ready

You haven’t yet touched me

But my walls have begun their crumbling

I’ve accepted that lately I’ve been lonely

But my mind isn’t changing

What spell have you cast on me

Conjuring urges that won’t allow me any sleep

I’m ready

I’m ready

I’m ready

To feel you

I’m ready

I’m ready

I’m ready

To taste you

Beneath this velvet sky

You don’t have to hide a thing from me

I’m ready

I’m ready

I am ready

To make all your sins mine

Venting

I act as though I’m down for something new

But truthfully I just want someone to talk to

Someone to talk to

About somebody else

About all the hurt they’ve caused me and the traumas I have no choice but to live with

That I’d rather my heart been completely broken

At least then I could spot the source of the injury

Set the matter

And know that in time it again would become whole

I’d tell that someone:

It’s not so simple living with the fractures

How I let I’d be fine allowing them heal on there own…

And they did

But, improperly

With Little Effort

Think of

All the sweat

And labor

And tears I’ve delivered.

To a house,

For a home

I built so high…

For us.

But you…

And with little effort

Came and knocked it all over with barely a blinking eye.

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