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Eisele Cunningham

Monday Mornings

But It Still Ain’t Love

You’ve got the best of me.

Reluctantly: I admit it.

Something makes me want you, all mine.

What exciting new emotions:

Crazy and jealous!

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Rambling

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison but, expecting it to kill the other person.

A Twist On An Old Rhyme

He likes me

He likes me not

I like me not

But I like me when he likes me

That’s quite a subtracting blow to my own self-esteem

I like me

Just a lot more when he is next to me

I like him

He likes me back

But better on my knees

On all four

Or flat on my back

I like me

When he gives what he treats as a service praise

I like me not

Because I realize the dichotomy in that phrase

He likes me

I am always available

He likes me not

I always want more

I like me

He thinks I’m worth

What he pays me

I like him

Even when he gives me nothing

I like me

He doesn’t really like me

I don’t truly like me

Where are my rose paddles

I’d like that 50/50 shot at choosing

Judgement of Love (Valentines Day)

Of course, the opposite of good Judgement is bad Judgement. Are we involved for the wrong reasons? Is it lust, is it blindness because of intense sexual chemistry? I can’t assume any of us would disagree that the desire to be loved is often acted out sexually. It’s the attention no matter how short or long the experience is that fills empty space. But, it remains an incomplete relationship. Take a step back to examine your situation– you might find it isn’t the person; it is a distraction that you’re (we’ve all been) attracted too. But that burns out quickly. It is the time to quit hiding behind what’s familiar, these “love” affairs and anticipate real love, starting today.

The Goodbye (Closure)

Couldn’t have imagined I’d ever loath closure.

In retrospect: mystery gave the possibility of a You and I a chance.

A chance to go the distance,

While we were distant.

Time to grow fawn of the details in one another’s day.

Kind,

Intelligent

And interested in me!

All the character I ever needed to think I’ve fallen in love…

Never thought I’d hear myself say: I regret getting closure.

A receipt that things were good.

But… they’re over.

My imaginative wilds could run nowhere.

Your,

“Nice to have met you”

Hurts like a wasp’s sting

And,

“This decision was nothing personal…”

How do I not take that personally?

You chose someone else instead of me…

I would not have imagined I’d ever loath closure;

Our solidarity.

Perhaps I should be grateful… you are the first who had the courtesy to say goodbye to me.

Rambling

Sleep is my enemy these days. I have so much to do and business hours offer so little time.

No Getting Over Him

There seems to be no getting over him.

His strength,

His will,

The stubborn unkindness.

His choice to have you wait on a choice he could make today.

The lies.

His excuses.

The paralyzing fear he maybe your last chance at “doing this.”

His being there when he wants;

His avoidance when you’re in need.

His arrogance.

He’s bold,

You long for the day he’ll make you feel you belong.

He’s the one—

Sterling example of what is wrong.

And if you ever thought:

He’ll never change…

You’re right.

Something

If I open this letter from you to read

It could only have for me one of two things…

Something beautiful,

Something fragrant—

Something that will last only a moment

Or something ugly— moreover something unbecoming.

That will live in me a lifetime.

Being Single

Being single says nothing negative about a person. It doesn’t decrease ones intelligence, mark down their beauty, suggest that they’re selfish- undesirable or unaccepting in anyway. (Unless for you it does and perhaps you’re now willing and ready to change.)

Despite however cliche the next few lines may come-off, today I’m thinking… being single, scratch that- still being single implies that it’s just not time. Doesn’t mean there won’t come ‘the time.’

Now, moments like: meeting some stranger at a bar, a wine club or coffee house and becoming wrapped up in a breathtaking smile or welcoming eyes will continue to happen. And you’ll truly think, because you can’t stop thinking about said stranger and such an encounter that you’re a hopeless-unhealthy-desperate-obsessive romantic with attachment issues. Rather than getting down on yourself about natural feeling, be excited you still have those sparks in you. Because once the real thing comes along, when those alarms sound, you’ll without a doubt recognize the difference.

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