Bed rest for two day, I’ll explain to you how I get here.
5:30 PM
Work was done
I hit the nearest liquor store
A pint of Puerto Rican Rum will be my pleasure.
6:05 PM
Drank it in the Uber ride over
Traffic was a terror
Thirty minutes of my life stolen to move only several miles
6:35 PM
Event began at 5
Fire Marshal says, “The event currently at capacity- no one else goes in.”
I wait in line
7:10 PM
Friends finally arrived
Line
Loading…
Buffering…
We’re moving again!
Some chick who’s already wasted turns
Smiles and slurs words at me a moment while molesting my chest tummy and my-
People watching are entertained by her inability to stand up straight and my victimization
7:40 PM
Hell, this better be worth it
8 o’clock
Paid for my ticket then sprinted to the line for shots.
“Only 2 drinks person.” A sign reads
Huh, I ordered:
1 car bomb
1 shot of Jameson
And a beer, green.
Drank it all down
Then a ordered a second set
Loosing track of time
Friends and I are a lot hungry
A pitcher of drinks
While we sat at eat
Edamame and sushi
Paid the tab
My friend knows a guy
To the next bar
Our long islands were on the house
I know a guy
To the next bar we’re off
My guy was standing at the door
He pulls me to the front
Slapping hands and he says:
“I got you, brother… Whatever you want.”
Seconds later the lady bartender brings over three shoots
Dance, dance
Dancing on girls dancing with guys
Some folks next to us got into a fight
Time to go
Walking down the road my buddy sees someone else he knows
Into the club we go
Ordering:
“A Bourbon and ginger, 2 please.”
I say,
“And my friends will all have the same.”
Elated
Wasted
Laughing and smiling
Last call
I am cut off
Uber ride home
Stumbled to the entrance
“Shit… I forgot my key”
I hop the gate
Thankfully with ease.
I start climbing and climbing higher, too drunk to make it.
I fell from my 2nd story balcony in the AM at 3:18 exactly.
Two days bed rest for me.