Bed rest for two day, I’ll explain to you how I get here. 
5:30 PM
Work was done 

I hit the nearest liquor store 

A pint of Puerto Rican Rum will be my pleasure.

6:05 PM

Drank it in the Uber ride over 

Traffic was a terror 

Thirty minutes of my life stolen to move only several miles 

6:35 PM

Event began at 5 

Fire Marshal says, “The event currently at capacity- no one else goes in.” 

I wait in line 

7:10 PM

Friends finally arrived 




We’re moving again! 

Some chick who’s already wasted turns 

Smiles and slurs words at me a moment while molesting my chest tummy and my-

People watching are entertained by her inability to stand up straight and my victimization 

7:40 PM

Hell, this better be worth it

8 o’clock 

Paid for my ticket then sprinted to the line for shots. 

“Only 2 drinks person.” A sign reads 

Huh, I ordered: 

1 car bomb 

1 shot of Jameson 

And a beer, green.

Drank it all down

Then a ordered a second set

Loosing track of time 

Friends and I are a lot hungry

A pitcher of drinks 

While we sat at eat

Edamame and sushi

Paid the tab

My friend knows a guy 

To the next bar

Our long islands were on the house  

I know a guy 

To the next bar we’re off 

My guy was standing at the door 

He pulls me to the front 

Slapping hands and he says:

“I got you, brother… Whatever you want.”

Seconds later the lady bartender brings over three shoots 

Dance, dance

Dancing on girls dancing with guys 

Some folks next to us got into a fight 

Time to go 

Walking down the road my buddy sees someone else he knows 

Into the club we go 


“A Bourbon and ginger, 2 please.”

I say, 

“And my friends will all have the same.” 



Laughing and smiling 

Last call 

I am cut off

Uber ride home 

Stumbled to the entrance

“Shit… I forgot my key” 

I hop the gate

Thankfully with ease. 

I start climbing and climbing higher, too drunk to make it. 
I fell from my 2nd story balcony in the AM at 3:18 exactly.

Two days bed rest for me.