Bed rest for two day, I’ll explain to you how I get here.
Work was done
I hit the nearest liquor store
A pint of Puerto Rican Rum will be my pleasure.
Drank it in the Uber ride over
Traffic was a terror
Thirty minutes of my life stolen to move only several miles
Event began at 5
Fire Marshal says, “The event currently at capacity- no one else goes in.”
I wait in line
Friends finally arrived
We’re moving again!
Some chick who’s already wasted turns
Smiles and slurs words at me a moment while molesting my chest tummy and my-
People watching are entertained by her inability to stand up straight and my victimization
Hell, this better be worth it
Paid for my ticket then sprinted to the line for shots.
“Only 2 drinks person.” A sign reads
Huh, I ordered:
1 car bomb
1 shot of Jameson
And a beer, green.
Drank it all down
Then a ordered a second set
Loosing track of time
Friends and I are a lot hungry
A pitcher of drinks
While we sat at eat
Edamame and sushi
Paid the tab
My friend knows a guy
To the next bar
Our long islands were on the house
I know a guy
To the next bar we’re off
My guy was standing at the door
He pulls me to the front
Slapping hands and he says:
“I got you, brother… Whatever you want.”
Seconds later the lady bartender brings over three shoots
Dancing on girls dancing with guys
Some folks next to us got into a fight
Time to go
Walking down the road my buddy sees someone else he knows
Into the club we go
“A Bourbon and ginger, 2 please.”
“And my friends will all have the same.”
Laughing and smiling
I am cut off
Uber ride home
Stumbled to the entrance
“Shit… I forgot my key”
I hop the gate
Thankfully with ease.
I start climbing and climbing higher, too drunk to make it.
I fell from my 2nd story balcony in the AM at 3:18 exactly.
Two days bed rest for me.