I apologize, for not being an individual who is fast at opening his mouth, senselessly talking with hopes that great advice or inspiring words will be found between mostly wasted breaths. But I do hope my listening and these next words help.
Relationships are very two sided, and often people forget that fact. When I listen to a friend, sometimes a stranger or even myself, I hear lots of “I” and “me” statements, which starts to sound a tad selfish and I believe can be unfair to the party not present. But with that said: sometimes one person has great reason(s)/enough cause to end a romantic or even a platonic relationship with another.
No one person should ever be burdened with doing all the work in a relationship. That’s both emotionally and physically overwhelming. My friends, if you know you’ve talked to your boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, lover and have explained yourself, your needs and wants, clear and concisely, then there should be no hesitation in your mind about any decision(s) you’ve made. I did not say heart, because our hearts often foolishly continue loving someone no matter how poorly the target of our affections treat us. If you know, I repeat, really know, you’ve done all you can to show this someone you care, that it is him/her that you want to try the life-long monogamy thing with, then it is time for you to step back and allow him/her to take action to show you they are willing to try for the same. I know that there are some who are very curious about what their partner thinks of them and the relationship, what they’re feeling etc… but, continually asking your significant other questions about their feelings for you isn’t helpful. If you have to pull it out of them, as a dentist would a decaying tooth, that answer is most likely in-genuine and it provides that individual the opportunity to just tell you exactly what you and most people who feel that they are in love want to hear. Allow this someone to just show you.
Do not keep thinking of the past and twisting what great memories you two created at some point into wasted time. The memories, the moments, they are still there and should not change. In a relationship, one of the focuses is to assist one another in continually creating new, happy ones. And if that’s something that becomes more and more arduous, then maybe it’s time to say the disheartening “G” word.
My belief is: one partner could never truly absorb all the blame for trouble within the relationship. Some men and women sadly never reach that “Genital Stage” in life where they understand the importance of showing loved ones affections (other than just saying, “I love you”) and or putting others’ needs and wants before their own. In a balanced manner of course.
If you think there is hope for your relationship, there probably is. If you feel there isn’t, it is most likely done. But, the best thing about either out come is: your life, his life, her life, life in general, will go on.