I am a fire bomb struggling to be emancipated from a vast body of water.
I do not know where.
My life, my choices and actions is why I dove in to drown.
There is no such creature as heartache, it is something the fools who lived before us all with the best and worst intentions made up.
Do not entertain one thought I am to say.
I am just a logical man, researching a hypothesis: can I abandon whatever it is inside that causes the hurt?
Not without unbiased data, and calculations leading to an approximate result.
I have cried, that is not the answer.
I have screamed, but no one heard.
I have begged to the Gods who vacation in the sky, to give me back the courage I lost so long ago.
Youth was a taxing time, a time I do and do not wish to return too.
I was graceless and looked at as a continuous embarrassment.
I attempted to change the out come, but the ones who lived in the same home as me had enough.
And made no hesitation to say with me they were done.
I am a fire bomb, farther I am sinking still brightly burning.
Please do not give me up…
Mother, you were my angel at times and I’m sorry for the hell I cast upon your life.
Brother, I only ever wanted to be man enough to be welcomed to stand at your side .
Sister, so young you were, I apologize for failing to defend you.
A clan turned against me, I still say, please do not give up on me.
Heart break is a self inflected condition, we will all get better when we chose too.
Guffaw at yourself in the mirror if you think those words hold any truth.
I am a scared man, clawing to remain out of the world’s way so that I’ll never again be subjected to that pain.
Tears rolling down my face and as my family did, you, my almost love just walked away.
Do not, please don’t leave!
I am a fire bomb struggling to contain myself underneath a vast body of water.
And It is the safest place for me to remain.
For if I ever do reach the surface…

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